Friday, February 27, 2009

Who's in Your Twenty?


Curses upon you my dear wife, for posting your top 20 albums. You know I can't resist firing back, and during this class when I can least afford to spend the time. I have resisted looking at your list, for fear of influencing my own. I saw your first, the Simon & Garfunkel, and the last, the Hold Steady. Great choices both, but I don't think either will make my twenty, and that is fine.

In the order that they come to me, these are my most influential albums of my life. They have been chosen by the criteria of being the soundtrack to my life; they may be what I was listening to at my most malleable moments, and therefore are standouts. I make no claims that this is an all-inclusive "best of" that represents my life, but more just a knee-jerk list of recordings that jump out at me. They've all shaped my world view, or my musical taste, or both, in some way.

All right, enough prattling on. Here's the list. Oh, yeah: I'm linking the Amazon.com reviews. If it sounds good and you can afford it, don't buy it from them. Go to your local record store and give them the business instead.

Too Much Joy-Finally This isn't even my favorite TMJ album--that honor would probably go to Mutiny or Cereal Killers--but it is the one that cemented them as my all-time favorite band, for other reasons than their smart-ass one-liners. Through their recording career, from the underachievement tinged with brilliance of their debut "Green Eggs and Crack" to the maturity and introspection veiled in one liners of "Son of Sam I Am", "Cereal Killers", and "Mutiny" and their all-growed-up and slightly melancholy about it swan song of "Finally...", they mirrored my young adulthood. It was really the lyrics of two songs from "Finally..." that cemented it for me. From "I Believe In Something": "I believe/what they taught me in grade school/history is made by handsome fools...I believe everything on television/twelve step programs are the new religion/Gideon Bibles make rolling papers/the just prevail sooner or later...I believe in something". And the other line is from "Half Life": "I take pleasure/in the simple things/I love my headphones/and my wedding ring...are you talking to me now/or reading from a script?/what's that s'posed to mean, you say you wanna be yourself/I don't think you really know just who the hell that is/no, I don't think you have a clue just who the hell that is/so what's your half life?/you spend half your life pretending you're like everybody else/like everybody else".

Midnight Oil-Blue Sky Mining Whereas much of their earlier work was raw politics and anger, Blue Sky Mining mixed the adrenaline and testosterone with a little more of an Aquarius vibe. "Shakers and Movers" contains the first Midnight Oil song that can even be remotely considered a "love song" that professed love for something other than the Earth or indigenous people (not that there's anything wrong with that): "I can shake/I can move/but I can't live without your love/I can break/over you/but I can't live without your love". This album came out when I was in England on exchange, and my cassette tape of it was bought in Oxford. I enjoy Earth and Sun and Moon and their last studio album Capricornia more, but this one is a big mile-marker in my life.

Elvis Costello & the Attractions-This Year's Model There is nothing better, except maybe Armed Forces. This is one of those rare ones, where my favorite album by the artist is also the most influential. You've all heard "Pump it Up"? It's probably the weakest one here. There are more songs on Armed Forces that make my all-time favorite list, but TYM doesn't have a single weak track. This is the one where Elvis pissed off NBC for a good long time by playing the banned-by-the-BBC "Radio, Radio" in an unscheduled turn of events on SNL. He still pulls surprises, and makes great music (see "A Very Colbert Christmas" for further evidence.)

Til Tuesday- Welcome Home Again, not my favorite album by the artist. Everything's Different Now, which was, for all intents and purposes, an Aimee Mann solo album, takes that honor. But Welcome Home contains the transcendent song "Coming Up Close", which is the ultimate song for driving around on a sultry summer night, acting like a teenager when you know it's your last chance to act like a teenager. It takes me back to the summer of 1987, which was a good summer.

X-See How We Are This is one of my picks where I part with the critics. Many of the people paid to have an opinion hated X's departure to a more country/rock approach. But to me it was the first time I loved alt/country, and I didn't even know that was what it was at the time. X showed its intelligence and humor on this one, but the feeling was warmer than the Los Angeles/More Fun in the New World vibe. John Doe and Exene Cervenka gave us an early taste of what would come later on in the form of the Knitters. And their take on Dave Alvin's "Fourth of July" leads to one of my favorite songs of all time.

Concrete Blonde-Bloodletting You've probably heard of "Joey", but there's plenty more here. "Tomorrow, Wendy" and "The Sky is a Poisonous Garden" are the highlights. Johnette Napolitano's voice is a force of nature, and Jim Mankey's guitar hits you in the gut. Somewhat inspired by Anne Rice's vampire stories, this is the perfect antidote to the saccharine vampires of Twilight.

ELO-Out of the Blue Everyone says they hate the Electric Light Orchestra, the same way they eschew ABBA. But put on "Mr. Blue Sky", and everyone starts bopping uncontrollably. "Out of the Blue" was the first big 8-track tape I owned, because my sister had a Columbia House subscription and she ordered it for me. It was a double album that also contained "Turn to Stone" and "Sweet Talkin' Woman", which were some of the finest pop music treats of the 1970's. Add to that some psychedelic synth and some strings section heaven, and it's just a lucky thing I didn't have a good set of headphones at the age of ten, or I might never have left the house.

Dire Straits-Alchemy In the fall of 1985, Dire Straits came to Portland on their Brothers in Arms tour. I was a senior in high school, with little money and little ability to procure money. I'd loved Mark Knopfler's guitar playing since "Sultans of Swing", and I'd bought "Love Over Gold" a couple years before. Then "Money for Nothing" hit MTV, and all of a sudden Dire Straits was everyone's favorite band. Never mind that the big hits on that album were some of Dire Straits' weakest work, they were huge. And they were in Portland. And I had no way to see them. So I bought Alchemy, their double live album, instead. "Tunnel of Love", "Telegraph Road", "Sultans"...the live versions of these songs are the only ones that make sense to me. They take me back to the fall of my senior year of high school. But it is the instrumental theme to the movie "Local Hero", called "Going Home" that packs the most emotion. With Knopfler, it's not just about the lyrics, but about the way he and his guitar communicate.

Crash Test Dummies-The Ghosts That Haunt Me "I've all my wisdom teeth/two up top and two beneath/yet, I recognize/my mouth says things that aren't so wise/When I sing my darling's praise/I know I'm right, or close anyways/she's a gem upon the Earth/I know to me she will return/I know it's true/I know it's true/that I was made for her, and she me, too/and I'm confident she'll think so too/she'll be comin' back, comin' back, comin' back, comin' back soon."
This album was loaded with great songs and Canadian quirkiness, but it's a shame all the Crash Test Dummies will be remembered for is "Mmmm, Mmmm, Mmmm, Mmmm". Maybe Campbell's soup will pay for the rights.

Avett Brothers-Emotionalism On my way to the state track meet a coupl of years ago, I was listening to Scott Simon on NPR, interviewing these brothers from North Carolina, who sounded to me like a cross between the Everly Brothers, the Beatles, Hank Williams, and the Clash. Like the Proclaimers, there are harmonies that can only be made by kin. Check out the Avett Brothers. "Die, Die, Die" will probably catch your ear first, but my favorites are "Will You Return" and "The Ballad of Love and Hate". I've since learned about four Avett songs on my guitar.

Peter Mulvey- The Knuckleball Suite This is another MPBN find, but this time it can be traced to "In Tune By Ten". I first heard "The Eisenhower Waltz (Abilene)" on that show, and then on a subsequent show I heard the title track. He warmed up for Chris Smither at the Stone Mountain Center for the Performing Arts, and I missed that show. But I checked him out on YouTube and was amazed even more by his guitar playing (note: good lord, the man is gifted). Then in January of '08 he played the Northstar Cafe in Portland, to a small audience of about 50. He is a great guy, with a really engaging stage presence. As WL started to learn to play guitar, he became more interested: amazing how great playing stands out even more when you try to do it. I've learned three Mulvey songs. Lately, my "most influential" songs tend to be artists whose songs I love enough to learn. *(Note: the sample songs on the Amazon page I've linked ARE NOT Peter Mulvey. Something got messed up in translation.)

James-The Best of... When James came out with their first new studio album ("Hey, Ma") in seven years last spring, I ordered it as an import off eBay. It didn't come out stateside until September, but it was the soundtrack for the summer of '08, and Weather Lad and Cheer Chick became pretty big fans in the mean time. I'd already loved James for a long time, as had Rach, and knew a few of their songs on the guitar. The "Best of..." album is more significant for me because it has most of my favorite songs by them.

The Replacements-Don't Tell A Soul So many of my most influentials are not the ones the critics liked. But "Don't Tell a Soul", basically a Paul Westerberg solo effort, has some of my favorite lyrics: "if it's just a lull/why'm I bored right outta my skull?/keep me from being so dull". It's a little less cranky, a little less drunken, and a little more introspective than most of the other Placemats catalog, and that makes it a little more relevant to me.

The Refreshments-Fizzy, Fuzzy, Big and Buzzy "Banditos" (about a plot to pull of a heist and head to the border: "I've got the pistols, so I'll keep the pesos/yeah, that seems fair") was the big "hit", but there is sooooo much more to this one. It would be the perfect album for driving the wide open spaces of the desert southwest, but it's also got some tropical feel ("Mekong"). Therefore, it is probably my number one desert island disc. We saw Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers warm up for John Eddie a few years back, and didn't realize until halfway through that Roger was the lead singer or the Refreshments. Since then I've become a Peacemakers fan as well, but the Refreshments were better. Check out the shuffle of "Interstate": "Handgun and a bottle of booze/'69 Ford and a new pair of shoes/left from Boise, Idaho, 95/I was just in time to miss the 5 'o clock news/velvet black interstate's something appeals/spent $5.99 on a stone cold meal and bottle of wine/ I was feeling just fine when I crossed the state line/I was just in time to fall/asleep at the wheel"...just listen to it, because it loses much in my tranlation.

Barenaked Ladies- Maybe You Should Drive The first BNL album I bought; I'd heard of them but knew very little about them. Rach and I were just engaged, and the Barenaked Ladies were still small enough potatoes that they were playing the State Theater. We've since seen them--what--six times or so. Now Stephen Page is leaving the band, and it makes me sad that one of the most talented voices in rock music can't pull his personal life together.

The Smiths- Louder Than Bombs It was the summer following my freshman year of college. I was commuting to the UMF Archaeology lab for my summer job on a bike each day, and then out to Weld on the weekends. The house I lived in for the summer was belonged to my high school soccer coach, also the director of Flying Moose Lodge, where I worked both the previous and subsequent summers. I read It that summer, and got the worst case of poison ivy of my life. My friend Tom and I spent lots of time at the batting cages that summer. It was a great summer. And the Smiths provided the music.

Judybats- Native Son This one represents my time in Knoxville, TN. I'd heard the Judybats during my time DJing at WUMF, but they were actually from Knoxville, and had just recently signed a big deal with Sire Records. They owned K-Town for that time, and then promptly fell off the face of the alternative rock earth, as angrier sounds (think Nirvana and Soundgarden) took over.

The Cure-Head on the Door This one and "Kiss Me, Kiss Me, Kiss Me" are my two favorites. I lump them together with the Smiths, bands with some of the cheeriest sugar-sweet melodies and hooks, but with downright depressing lyrics. For some reason that dichotomy has always worked for me; as a matter of fact, now that I mention it, it's kind of an undercurrent through a lot of my most influential (and favorite) music. "In Between Days" is pure perfection.

A3- Exile on Coldharbour Lane You might know "Woke Up This Morning", the theme music from The Sopranos. But I got in on Alabama 3 a little earlier, thanks to a sampler disc that came with my CMJ magazine, and a song called "Ain't Goin' to Goa", a hip-hop/house mixture sung by British guys who had taken on the identities of Southern Baptist preachers gone bad. It sounds like a recipe for a joke that turns unfunny pretty quickly (see: Dread Zeppelin), but damned if it doesn't work and keep working. They sing a lot about the rave scene and the ills of ecstasy, which is as close as I'll ever come to that culture. How do you turn a John Prine cover ("Speed of the Sound of Loneliness") into a dancefloor hit? Ask these guys. They do it flawlessly.

Fountains of Wayne-Fountains of Wayne Chris Collingwood and Adam Schlesinger are pop geniuses. This album features the PERFECT "Radiation Vibe". I can't get sick of this song. If you heard "Stacy's Mom" a few too many times, this album is the tonic for that ailment. My favorite lyric from this album: "He's got his arm around every man's dream/with crumbs in his beard from the seafood special/oh, can't you see my world is falling apart/baby, please, leave the biker/leave the biker, break his heart" (from "Leave the Biker"). Give them a second chance.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Chopped...Bring Me Your Torch.





I'm a sucker for reality t.v. I've railed against the concept, how they aren't so much "reality" as they are real people acting in an artificial manner in unreal situations. That said, I will still tuck in for a big ol feast of "Amazing Race" or "Project Runway" on a regular basis.

On Saturday, however, I was happy to witness something that will make me never go back to at least one of the "reality" shows. Let me explain.

As we were watching "Chopped", on Food Network, I was somewhat intrigued by the concept. Four contestants, chefs, are given some ingredients--usually incongruous--to make a course for a meal. With each successive round, one chef's dish is "Chopped". (Ha! That's clever!) "Queer Eye"'s own Ted Allen is the host, and while he's no Alton Brown, he's not too annoying, and doesn't really interfere with the proceedings.

So the first round, the appetizer, goes through, one of the chefs gets "Chopped", and they move on to an entree, which was centered around a beef blade cut (along with yucca, raisins, anchos, and pickles). The little personal "confessional" sections have already indicated that one of the chefs is kind of a weasel, who would sell his own mother for the right price. So as they're preparing their blade cuts, this guy drops one on the floor. I've done it a million times. Then, he picks it up, and throws it in with his other pieces, without even rinsing it! My immediate reaction was "no way. This guy is a chef, and he just did that on t.v. Never mind losing this competition, NO ONE will ever go to his restaurant again!" (Bloomingdale Road and Wine Directory, NYC, in case you were wondering).

But this is television, and the very reason I've used quotations around the word "reality" over the course of this post. Let me, at this point, tell you that the judges saw this little slip. They witnessed it, and when served, one of the judges asked "did I get the piece that fell on the floor?"

The chef replied, with what could be described as an "oh, crap" look on his face, "I don't think so..."

Then the judge asked another judge "did you get the piece that fell on the floor?" At that point, I believe the chef actually said "oh, crap."

I'm thinking his goose--or blade steak, as it were--is cooked. But only on "reality" television is there redemption for the irredeemable. I give you "The Flavor of Love" as Exhibit . This guy moves on to the next round. That is utterly unconscionable, that something that would likely get his health department permit yanked is brushed off with a shrug. The other contestants should have been able to make shredded wheat with a side of tap water and beat him in that round. But that's not how "reality" t.v. works, and that's why it's not "reality". We switched the channel at that point, so I don't know who won. But if you watch this link, I strongly encourage two boycotts: one, on the restaurant where the tattoed man works and two, on this dreadful show.

Friday, February 13, 2009

I Hate Dick Cheney.

This is an easy one. Dick Cheney just needs to go back to Wyoming and lose control of his chair on an incline, eventually finding himself boiled to death in Old Faithful. Dude, you're done, and we don't need your views on national security anymore (as if there was a time when we did...) But I love his fashion sense:

Friday, February 6, 2009

Bunting My Way On Base...

...seems like a good metaphor on the day when the Red Sox equipment trucks headed to Fort Myers. I view these little lists as the equivalent of bunting my way on base: it isn't my best work, and it isn't original, but sometimes it's what I need to shake me out of a slump. So without further ado, here is my bunt single...eh...

1. What is your name: Weather Boy
2. A four Letter Word: wank
3. A boy's Name: Willie
4. A girl's Name: Wynona
5. An occupation: woodworker
6. A color: white (is that really a color?)
7. Something you wear: wellies
8. A food: water chestnut, the one food I would choose to eat if I had no sense of taste
9. Something found in the bathroom: waterstained wallpaper (bonus points!)
10. A place: West Peru, which is still a place in some peoples' minds
11. A reason for being late: waiting for the plumber
12. Something you shout: Whoa, Nellie!
13. A movie title: Waterworld (minus bonus points!)
14. Something you drink: water with a large splash of something else
15. A musical group: Waterboys
16. An animal: wildebeest
17. A street name: Webb River Drive
18. A type of car: Willys Jeep
19. Something scary: water...really deep water
20. Ice cream flavor: White Russian

Okay, that was fun, but I feel like I was thrown out by half a step. Here's another one:

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
I think so, kind of: my great, great grandfather David Kirk was the first generation Scot who came across the pond and settled in Pittsburgh.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Don't really remember, but it was undoubtedly when I heard a song that reminded me of when my kids were little and how grown-up they're becoming. I'm a sap. Maybe something like "The Circle Game".

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I like how it's become such an efficient mix of printing and cursive. Otherwise, it's pretty nondescript.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Corned beef or pastrami. (Although I love a nice MLT...mutton, lettuce and tomato, when the mutton is lean...)

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
Yes, two.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
If I'd let me.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
Only on those who deserve it. I prefer facetiousness.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Yes.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
I think so.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Kashi Go Lean, Oat Flakes with brown sugar, Corn Chex, good granola, Cap'n Crunch, Life

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Usually

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
New York Super Fudge Chunk

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
How seriously they seem to take themselves.

15. RED OR PINK?
Pink.

16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
How my disorganization sometimes affects others.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
Hmm...I don't think I miss people...I think I miss times or activities more. Like playing softball.

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Blue jeans and socks.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Numbers.

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Midnight Blue.

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
lime zest

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Our school secretary.


26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Baseball.

27. HAIR COLOR?
Dark brown with whitewalls and an increasingly flesh-colored patch above my forehead.

28. EYE COLOR?
Brown

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
No. Good eyesight.

30. FAVORITE FOOD?
The kind you eat. I guess I'd say Mexican.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
It depends on the day: some days it's suspense, some days it's "Little Miss Sunshine".

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
I'm going back and watching Lost, which I missed first time around. We'll see if it sticks.

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Blue lightweight fleece over black t-shirt

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Late summer/Indian summer.

35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Hugs

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Truman

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Whatever has been placed on top of it since we stopped using the desktop.

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
Whatever was in the background as I surfed.

42. FAVORITE SOUND(S).
The stream by the house.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Again, it depends but usually the Beatles

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Paris.

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
I can flare my nostrils, and roll my tongue and roll my r's, and I pick up dialects really quickly. All really useful.

46 WHERE WERE U BORN?
Hyannis, Massachusetts

48. HOW DID YOU MEET YOUR SPOUSE/SIGNIFICANT OTHER?
In college the first time, and then when I was coaching soccer at the school where she worked.


There. I got on base. Now let's see if this starts a rally...