"Those Swim Trunks Are Dope!"

Note: This entry is about sports. I promise to try and treat the topic in a manner befitting it and keep it light. Sports really shouldn't be taken as seriously as we take them.

So, we were sitting around watching the U.S. Olympic Swimming Team Trials with Mike and Katie tonight, and talking about the technology. I don't know if any of you have watched swimming lately, but there aren't too many OOB-ready Speedos in the pool these days.

The latest in controversial swim wear is not controversial for what it doesn't cover, but for what it DOES cover: Olympic distances in world record times.


The Speedo LZR Racer swimsuit is made with NASA technology, the seams sealed with a laser to reduce drag. The fabric reduces drag by 10%, and increases "oxygen efficiency" (whatever that is). Swimmers are corseted into the suits, with all of their "parts" held into a more aerodynamic--ahem--"package". Of the 22 swimming world records to fall since March, 21 of them were broken by swimmers wearing the LZR. Each suit runs around $500 retail, but of course the elite swimmers get a deal. This leaves "lesser" swimmers splashing around in the shallow end of the pool, looking for money to improve their performances.

Mike mentioned the term "tech doping", which is what one Italian swim coach has called this technological advance.

But sports has seen technological advances before: can you imagine how badminton would look today if we still used live turkeys instead of shuttlecocks? Really, that's why we started calling them "birdies". You could look it up, but I don't suggest it. And at one point, golf balls were pouches of leather filled with feathers. Which led to making "birdies" and "eagles" on the links. It all comes together, now, doesn't it?

But I digress...often...and unabashedly. It occurred to me that the most fair way around all of this is to begin a movement. The Nekkid Olympics.

Some sports are far better suited to the Nekkid Olympics movement, and swimming is one of the best. First off, if you've never skinny dipped, you owe it to yourself. I can't imagine any feeling that would more closely approximate what it must feel like in the womb, before we are born. Our elite swimmers should compete against each other naked, to remove any technological advantages enjoyed by some.

Keep in mind, the earliest Olympians competed nude, if we are to believe what history books tell us*.

*I wouldn't advise it.

Floor exercise in gymnastics might work, as well as the bars, the rings, and the vault. However, the pommel horse might prove too revealing: the Thomas Flair indeed!

Track would be fine, I think, except the hurdles and the pole vault.

However, I really don't want to see weightlifting in that particular light. Let's keep those athletes clothed. As a matter of fact, let's make them wear MORE clothes. Please. And the one event we have historic proof of being contested nude, Greco-Roman wrestling, should also happen while fully clothed...at least on the global stage. What people do in the privacy of their own homes is their own business.

The Hot 100

1) I sweat when the dew point gets above 30˚F...
2) even if the temperature is below 3˚C.
3) I fancy myself a sports fan...
4) but music is really my first love...
5) but really my first love is my family...
6) and especially my wife. (Didn't think I could save that, did you?)
7) I love John Stewart and Stephen Colbert because they are clever...
8) and hate country music that tries to be clever.
9) When I was a kid the only garden chore I would do is hit rocks out of it with a stick...
10) and I've taught Weather Lad he can perform the same chore.
11) I've lost every competitive fiber in my body since high school.
12) That doesn't bother me.
13) I considered doing this list with song lyrics that contained each number.
14) Sadly, I could probably get pretty far with that.
15) It saddens me how far Mike Myers has fallen...
16) and Eddie Murphy...
17) and Adam Sandler.
18) Writing in this fashion severely cramps my style...
19) and it's probably good for me.
20) In my freshman picture from high school I look like Wil Ferrell in the cowbell skit, minus the sunglasses (I presume you've met my belly in previous pictures?)
21) Wil Ferrell makes me laugh even in his most stupid moments.
22) Jim Carrey does not make me laugh, except in his least stupid moments.
23) My favorite baseball players are the ones who do the little things right...
24) which is why Dwight Evans is my all-time favorite (the REAL #24--sorry, Manny)
25) I admire the detail-oriented people in my life...
26) though sometimes I don't understand them.
27) I fail to see why anyone would want to spend their time reading this.
28) I believe kids need to spend less time doing things adults are running.
29) I believe nations should be abolished and dissolved...
30) but I have no idea how this happens.
31) It's pretty damned sad that Zimbabwe is making Kenya look good right now.
32) As unlikely as it is, I feel Obama could actually make a difference. Call me a cockeyed optimist, but that's how I see it.
33) I originally attended college at Marist in Poughkeepsie, NY.
34) I was a communications major, intent on being the next Dan Rather.
35) That lasted one semester, as I hated New York and the frantic pace.
36) My communications experience was finally put to use at WABI-TV 5 in Bangor.
37) I was a production assistant for $5.75 an hour.
38) If the pay had been better, I might have stayed in television.
39) My faith in America has been profoundly shaken by the Bush II administration...
40) and that is no exaggeration.
41) I was born in Barnstable, MA, and lived the first 8 years of my life on Cape Cod.
42) My parents worked at Camp Arcadia in Otisfield, and moved the family to Weld when we visited some friends there and decided it was the place for us.
43) This fall will be the first soccer season in 15 years that I'm not coaching school soccer.
44) That doesn't seem possible.
45) The last time that happened I was a grad student at the University of Tennessee.
46) MS in Political Science, if you must know. One year. $15,000. Some lessons are more expensive than others.
47) I have just been accepted into the MS in Science Education program at Montana St.
48) I don't plan to drop out of this program.
49) I take pleasure in the simple things...
50) I love my headphones...
51) and my wedding ring.
52) That was for Rach.
53) Human nature scares the hell out of me. We're pretty ingenious, but not very smart.
54) The concept of hunting appeals to me, but I'm not good at killing things.
55) The only mammal I've ever intentionally killed was a woodchuck...
56) in my mother's garden, with a Browning .22.
57) It really bothered me.
58) Oh, yeah, I've killed countless mice with traps.
59) This doesn't bother me in the least.
60) Somehow, fishing doesn't bother me, either.
61) I borrowed "The Omnivore's Dilemma" from Sue BC and I hope to get a chance to read it.
62) I have one sister who is six years older than me.
63) We get along great, but I'm not very good at keeping in touch.
64) The lure of Aunt Beast is calling; I can't wait to take her out.
65) The best part of marriage is the shared experiences and points of reference.
66) I love that we already had so many shared points of reference before we even met.
67) My short-term memory is horrible, and it has nothing to do with THC. I was born this way.
68) I can definitely relate to Dory.
69) The Olympics in Beijing are going to be hard to watch, but I'll do it anyway.
70) B-minor is my hardest chord to play on my guitar.
71) I love my guitar, a Seagull Artist M series, made from sustainable Canadian cedar.
72) Bedazzling simply freaks me out.
73) My summer list of to-do's includes an Earth oven.
74) It's almost time to begin my summer professional reading.
75) I enjoy the way I've become more true to my ideals as I've gotten older.
76) My mid-life crisis is not likely to involve an expensive sports car, but an expensive electric guitar.
77) This is harder than I thought it would be.
78) Sweet William is my favorite flower.
79) I get more pleasure than I should from mowing my lawn.
80) If I could ever get a dog I'd look into Bernese Mountain Dogs.
81) The one summer when my cantaloupes flourished was my favorite garden EVER.
82) My garden is a constant source of joy...
83) as well as frustration and disappointment.
84) I'm troubled by society's misguided attitudes toward winning and losing.
85) When I was a kid, all I wanted to be able to do was dunk a basketball.
86) As a freshman, I could grab the rim.
87) That was as good as it ever got, but I was a pretty tough rebounder.
88) My large butt was the main reason for my rebounding success: hard to get around me!
89) I quit baseball after eighth grade because I didn't think I could hit anymore.
90) Then I ran track, and am glad I did.
91) When I moved to Peru I played fast pitch softball in the Oxie League.
92) Turns out I could still hit pretty well...I miss it.
93) I had back surgery about 8 years ago, and my body won't tolerate anything high impact for very long anymore.
94) My back is really good, and biking doesn't seem to bother it much.
95) I will be trading my upright diamond frame bike for a recumbent tadpole trike in the near future...
96) so I can do a cross country ride.
97) Sometimes Spongebob Squarepants makes me laugh. I'm sorry.
98) Traveling with my family is one of my most favorite things to do.
99) New York Super Fudge Chunk is one of the greatest discoveries of man.
100) This was fun, but I'm out of stuff to say.

Garlic! (The Great Scape)

Alright, it's time to humor me (as if that isn't always the case...) I picked the scapes off one of my varieties of garlic today, and the other two will be ready in the next couple of days. In honor of this momentous event, I am writing my "how I grow garlic" blog. A couple of people in the RVB community have expressed some interest in this topic, so for those of you who care, here it is. For those of you who don't, I'll try to do something less, um, agricultural before too long. I hope to never do this again, unless I come up with some wild variation on my technique, or I start to grow some exotic varieties of garlic*.

*Is there really an "exotic" variety of garlic? Garlic is ubiquitous. To me it is like calling something like water or air exotic. It is far too important and central to life on earth to be cheapened by labels like "exotic". I apologize to garlic for even suggesting there might be something exotic about it.

For now, I will stick to the basics: I grow hardneck varieties called Georgian Crystal, Chesnok, and something that was once probably Romanian Red or something like it, but I lost track of the name and now I call it "Dave's Own Red". You're allowed to do this with garlic once you are reusing your own seed garlic, and you've done it for at least three years in succession in the same soil. I just made that rule up. Why, you may ask, do I grow hardneck? Because it is not finicky about soil, it grows in most conditions--hot, cold, dry, wet--and despite some reports to the contrary, it keeps pretty well. I've put up our garlic in July, and if stored in cool dark places, have run out in April before it sprouted or got soft. If you're considering growing your own garlic (note: DO IT!) don't be fooled by the hype of softneck. Most softneck varieties come from warmer climes than our own, while the hardnecks tend to originate in Russia and other unforgiving places.*

*Like Washington.

Anyway, hardneck is cool because it roasts really well, but it can't be braided like softnecks can. That's okay because garlic braids are kind of prissy.

Growing Garlic

Step 1:
After buying your seed garlic from a reputable company (like this, this, or this) WAIT UNTIL LATE OCTOBER OR EARLY NOVEMBER TO BEGIN THE PLANTING PROCESS!!! Then peel the papery outer skin off the bulbs. If you've bought more than one variety, you might want to make row markers so you can know which variety is which (unless you just want to name them for yourself later on, which I'll admit is very satisfying). Avoid messing with the harder, inner skin, which will protect the seed bulb through the long winter and into spring. If it is damaged, your bulbs will be more susceptible to rot.

Step 2:
Prepare your soil. I like to have beds about three feet wide, and about 25 feet long. I usually till my soil by hand, with an EZ Digger (aka Korean Hand Plow) duct taped to the end of a rake handle. I love the utility of this tool, and if you don't have one you should order it now...I'll wait... Seriously, it will become your favorite tool.

Often I will sow garlic in soil that has had some sort of cover crop growing on it, such as oats or buckwheat. That keeps the nitrogen in the soil, and since garlic is planted long after the first frost, you can usually just till the organic matter into the soil and then plant. Every couple of years I will add some compost and soil amendments (SulPoMag, bloodmeal, greensand, Menafee humates, etc.) but the key, according to a number of garlic famers I've spoken to, is to keep sowing it in the same soil year after year. Do not rotate garlic crops.

Step 3:
When have my three foot rows, I like to create three shallow furrows about 10" apart, the full length of each row. Then I just drop in the individual cloves every six inches or so.

From there, it's a simple matter of covering the bulbs with about two inches of soil, and tamping down the soil, and covering the rows with mulch. DO NOT SKIMP ON THIS STEP! The garlic cloves will begin to put out roots in the time between planting and solid frost. This will help it stabilize itself for spring, but the mulch will cut down on the amount of frost heaving the bulbs will go through.

Step 4:
Fuhgeddaboutit! This is my favorite step. It is what makes garlic such a gratifying crop to grow: your work is really mostly done, save for a little weeding in the spring. In the past, I raked the mulch off the beds as soon as the soil opened up in the spring. This year I found if I left it on, the garlic came up through the mulch, and the weeds didn't emerge nearly as badly as in the past.

Step 5:
Harvest. For me this has been happening in mid-to-late July, which seems to be earlier than some in the area. I have no idea why this is, and I'm not too worried. I just follow these two simple guidelines:
1) break off the scapes when they are big enough to snap off;
2) pull the garlic gently* from the ground when about 70% of the leaves have turned yellow.**


Breaking off the scapes allows the garlic to put its energy into storing energy in its bulbs, which makes for the bulbs being as big as they can be. The jury is still out as to whether this makes an appreciable difference in yield, but there is another good reason to harvest the scapes: they are yummy. I've had pickled garlic scapes that are to die for, and am still looking for a good recipe to make our own. If you allow the scapes to continue growing, eventually they will develop into a flower-like bundle of tiny garlic bulbs (bulbils) on the end of stalk. These can be planted, and will form one solitary bulb the following year, and then those bulbs can be planted and will yield full sized heads. It's a pretty cool process, and all along the way the scapes, bulbils and bulbs are edible. I would suggest against eating the foliage though. Pretty chewy.

*Pulling gently is advisable because it's no fun digging through the soil trying to find the broken-off head of garlic.

**If the leaves get too dry, the garlic won't keep well, because there won't be enough skin to protect it. If not enough of the leaves are yellow, the skin will be too thick, and the garlic--you guessed it--won't store well.

Step 6:
Storage. Hang up the freshly harvested garlic on a clothesline somewhere. After about two weeks, it will dry out, and the leaves will become dry and rustly. At this point you can brush the dirt off the bulbs, snip off the roots, and cut off the leaves and stalk about two inches above the bulb. Being hardneck, you will need a fairly sturdy set of clippers or scissors to do this.

Then, store it in a cool, dark place. A pantry will do just fine. And then, enjoy the fruits of your labor for the next eight months, when you will see the next year's crop just beginning to peek through the mulch.

Hey Lucky You, Lucky Me

A few entries back I talked about theme songs, and which songs seem to fit our lives. Given the events of the last three days, I'm submitting "Lucky Me" by Great Big Sea as Rachel's and my joint theme song:

He was born a sailors son
Nothing came easy or free
He suffered the squalls all the rises and falls
And everything else in between
But he says storms always fade after they've had their way
They're never as bad as they seem

As long as the rivers still run to the seas
Hey Lucky You Lucky Me

Who'd ever thought for a moment
She'd have to grow up so fast
School beauty queen with a child at sixteen
Swore that her fortunes had passed
But blessings can hide in the strangest disguise
I know that she would agree

As long as the rivers still run to the seas
Hey Lucky You Lucky Me

Hey look at me in the spotlight
Ripped jeans and rock and roll hair
Feeling so cool but I'd be such a Fool
Singing to no one out there
So Hey take a bow every band needs a crowd
And I've got a song we can sing

As long as the rivers still run to the seas
Hey Lucky You Lucky Me

I'll back up a little for those who aren't up to date. Rach had her graduation ceremony for three of her students on Friday, and was in disbelief at the outpouring of support and thanks given to her by students, families, and her administrators. I was not that surprised, for what she does is far beyond what most of us recognize: she takes kids who dislike the traditional school setting intensely for whatever reason, and gives them a place where they can learn comfortably. It takes lots of tough love, but amidst the "tough" part of that, her students really come to recognize the "love" part. It is an amazing process, and I admire her greatly for what she does.

On Friday I was unable to attend that particular ceremony, because I was participating in the Trek Across Maine. I'd hemmed and hawed for months as to whether I wanted to pull into the Middle School on our way through Dixfield. The positives would be that I could model for the kids about volunteering and doing things for a good cause, and I'd get to see my kids on the last day of school. The drawbacks would be disruption of the kids on the last day of school, and everyone seeing me in my tight bicycling jersey. By Friday morning I had decided that I would zip through the Middle School on my way to Weld, just to check in on my home room, who by that time should have been playing kickball in a 7th grade double elimination tournament.

At around 10AM the Cyclin' Cougars of SAD #21 pulled out of the rest stop in Rumford, and headed toward Dixfield. A phone call was placed to the central office, and as we wheeled up Weld Street about 20 minutes later, we were greeted by a small crowd outside Dirigo High School. It was nice to stop for ten minutes or so to chat, as other Trekkers whizzed by wondering why our team was pulled over, talking to people on the sidewalk.

The small group I was riding with then pulled out and headed north on 142, with a short side trip into Dirigo Middle School planned. They would be surprised to see me!
Well, the surprise was on me. At the end of the access road to the school, I was greeted by this sight (photo credits to SJ):




The seventh grade team was assembled by the road, cheering on other bicyclists as they went by, until our small group pulled into view. They then started cheering for ME exclusively, and after I pulled to the other side of the road to visit with them, completely shocked and at a loss for words, they gathered around asking questions about the trip, about my bike, about the other bikers, and anything involved in the Trek. It was a strange and humbling feeling, being a bit of a celebrity there on my own turf. I really didn't answer their questions very eloquently, but I hope everyone involved realized how touched I was by their kindness.

I am told this was pulled together by the teachers on my team, with help from the students. Whoever was responsible, it was an amazing moment in my teaching career as they chanted my name as I pulled away. The next twelve miles to Weld flew by, as I alternated between shaking my head and tearing up every time I thought about what they had done. Regardless of what our kids learn in their subject areas, it is clear that both Rachel's and my kids have somewhere learned the more important lessons: it is the connections we make with other people in life that matter most.

Lucky us.

Happy Feet!

With all the talk lately of comfortable sandals and taking pictures of our feet, I thought I'd join the fun and take a new angle: check out the sandal tan lines on my feet! That is a great sign of late spring turning into summer: without trying, I have worn my sandals enough in warm sunny weather, that I have telltale Keen lines on my feet. It's a good thing.

This is the End...My Only Friend...The End

My list of lasts has begun. As a teacher you can always come up with some fairly frivolous "lasts" of the year: last workshop day in August, last standardized test, last formal observation by the principal--you get the picture.

It is when the REAL lasts start rolling by that we realize "Holy crap, another year and I still haven't figured out how to get everything done that I planned." I hope my friends and colleagues who are retiring aren't plagued by this type of thought. I can't imagine my golden years being spent worrying that we didn't get around to doing the water lab back in 2003. Knowing my memory, that isn't anything for me to worry about.

Today marks my last Friday because next Friday I will be in a throng 1,500 strong, heading to Belfast on two skinny wheels on the Trek Across Maine. Every day from here on in will be a last of some sort.

I heard word of a long-time special ed. teacher in a neighboring district who recently had his last PET of a long career. I believe he's been teaching since at least the mid-1970's, if not the early '70's. He is still a young guy, in my eyes, still enjoys the kids he works with, and is only really happy to be leaving because of the proliferation of paperwork enjoyed by special ed teachers. When (or if) I ever retire, I hope it is on terms similar to his. If I don't still enjoy working with kids, I should be put out to pasture long before my statutory retirement age. It should be that way for all educators, and anyone else whose attitude and demeanor affects the future of others. This is why the Maine Legislature screwed up so royally under John McKernan when they raided the retirement fund and forced teachers to work longer before they could retire without penalty. They effectively forced ineffective teachers to stay in linger, teaching ineffectively for even longer than they would have and making an artificial barrier younger, eager teachers. Hand in hand with that comes the step increases for older, more experienced teachers, which cause districts to pay even more money for (presumably) less enthusiastic and effective teachers.

It would be foolish to suggest that all veteran teachers are ineffective or less enthusiastic: indeed, I've seen plenty who are good teachers even beyond the traditional retirement age, and I've seen plenty of teachers who don't improve much throughout their entire careers. But for the most part, it does seem fairly common for the passion to fade with passing years.

So with each passing "last" of the school year, I am reminded of summer. Summer leads into fall, where the lasts will all begin again and cycle throughout the year. It's hard to know what my reaction will be when all my "lasts" are really final. I hope by then that I will still love working with kids, and that I leave this profession on my own terms. That will be a good day.