So, we were sitting around watching the U.S. Olympic Swimming Team Trials with Mike and Katie tonight, and talking about the technology. I don't know if any of you have watched swimming lately, but there aren't too many OOB-ready Speedos in the pool these days.
The latest in controversial swim wear is not controversial for what it doesn't cover, but for what it DOES cover: Olympic distances in world record times.
The Speedo LZR Racer swimsuit is made with NASA technology, the seams sealed with a laser to reduce drag. The fabric reduces drag by 10%, and increases "oxygen efficiency" (whatever that is). Swimmers are corseted into the suits, with all of their "parts" held into a more aerodynamic--ahem--"package". Of the 22 swimming world records to fall since March, 21 of them were broken by swimmers wearing the LZR. Each suit runs around $500 retail, but of course the elite swimmers get a deal. This leaves "lesser" swimmers splashing around in the shallow end of the pool, looking for money to improve their performances.
Mike mentioned the term "tech doping", which is what one Italian swim coach has called this technological advance.
But sports has seen technological advances before: can you imagine how badminton would look today if we still used live turkeys instead of shuttlecocks? Really, that's why we started calling them "birdies". You could look it up, but I don't suggest it. And at one point, golf balls were pouches of leather filled with feathers. Which led to making "birdies" and "eagles" on the links. It all comes together, now, doesn't it?
But I digress...often...and unabashedly. It occurred to me that the most fair way around all of this is to begin a movement. The Nekkid Olympics.
Some sports are far better suited to the Nekkid Olympics movement, and swimming is one of the best. First off, if you've never skinny dipped, you owe it to yourself. I can't imagine any feeling that would more closely approximate what it must feel like in the womb, before we are born. Our elite swimmers should compete against each other naked, to remove any technological advantages enjoyed by some.
Keep in mind, the earliest Olympians competed nude, if we are to believe what history books tell us*.
*I wouldn't advise it.
Floor exercise in gymnastics might work, as well as the bars, the rings, and the vault. However, the pommel horse might prove too revealing: the Thomas Flair indeed!
Track would be fine, I think, except the hurdles and the pole vault.
However, I really don't want to see weightlifting in that particular light. Let's keep those athletes clothed. As a matter of fact, let's make them wear MORE clothes. Please. And the one event we have historic proof of being contested nude, Greco-Roman wrestling, should also happen while fully clothed...at least on the global stage. What people do in the privacy of their own homes is their own business.
2 comments:
I saw some of that swimming suit info on the news last night--can you imagine "space age technology" and "millions of dollars and five years to create" but given all that $500 to break a world record seems paltry.
What more can I say, other than thank you for my morning laugh!
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